Maybe these are the Moments
At what moment do your trails become your testimony?
When do your confines become your conformation?
When are your woes a witness?
When do I stop this alliteration and actually write?
We all have struggles and deep, dark secrets. I know I have a list as long as both my arms and legs of instances in my life which I'm not too proud of, but we serve a God who turns those vanquishes into victories. Now don't you want to praise the name of the Lord who can make such a transformation?
In the book of Ester there is a verse that proclaims, "perhaps this is the moment for which you were created" (Ester 4:14).
But... When is my moment?
In my eyes, I would view 'the moment' as a center stage scene. The time in the play that changes everything and shifts the audiences view. When the puzzle pieces come together, the enemies kiss, the villain is found out... The moment. We crave our moments because they provide hope and insight. So do we only have one moment in all of life?
I want to live a very long life full of moments for which I was created. God didn't spend countless hours molding me into the woman I've become and planning who I will be for me to just have one moment to proclaim the gospel and shine for Jesus.
Being sick in college sucks. No, I don't miss my mommy, nor wish I could just lay around and watch cartoons... Well, sometimes I do. I'm at Liberty, not law school. Even though you may feel miserable, college never stops moving. I went to one class today and still was busy from the moment I got up to the moment I went to bed.
I left my boyfriend's building about an hour before curfew because I was so sick and just needed to be in my room and in my shower and blow my nose in private. I poured myself a cup of tea, placed an extra blanket on my bed, pampered my skin a little more than usual, and giggled. I was thinking about how grateful I was that I have panic attacks.
I must have looked a sight. I little girl in her Christmas pajamas with tissues and tears praising God for her panic attacks.
Now, I get praising God for the non-detrimental things. I thank God that I'm late to class because I needed that extra ten minutes of sleep, or when I get a fright because someone's just honked at me, but I'm really blessed they didn't hit me. But panic attacks? Those moments when I literally can't breathe because the world is running on its axis in my eyes?
Yeah. Because I learned how to treat myself and those around me with extra love and empathy because I've had to fight to love myself after the attacks for so long and learn recovery methods as a result of my attacks.
So thank you, God that even though I've lived through some horrifying situations, I've come out of them more loving and empathetic than many might ever be.
Now, my moment wasn't shuffling around in my dorm room making my bed, but it was a glimpse into what I might be able to achieve due to my unpleasant life experiences.
My community group leader, a prayer leader for a small group on my hall, shared with our small group a personal testimony that related to another girl in my group. She explained how difficult finding meaning in the pain was, but as soon as the other girl had shared- she knew that the before pain was worth it. She knew why she had gone through those hardships and how she could be a light.
God takes every hardship, every memory, every second of our lives and culminates them into such a powerful and living testimony that they shine in such an anointed way, pointing people to the Father.
In John 13:7, Jesus says, "you do not understand what I am doing now, but someday you will". We don't understand why we go through trials and tribulations, but we so easily forget that God sees our ending testimony.
God uses everything. No tear is wasted, nor no sorrow spared for the Kingdom of Heaven.
We're not made for one blink-of-an-eye act of charity, just like we're not made to worship God on Sunday, then go and kill our neighbors on Monday. We are made to shine every second that we are on this Earth and shine in all the moments for which we were created.
So no, you were not created for a moment. You were created for a lifetime.