I wasn’t sure what to write my blog about this week. I love writing. I am not making a blog for the money (there is none) or the idea of having a huge following (hi mom). I made this blog because I felt called to write and spread the Gospel in only a way I could do it. So I write a ding dang blog about being in love with Disney and Jesus.
Usually a blog post idea magically pops into my head while I'm walking to class or while I'm going to bed. Or I’ll be hearing a certain word or feeling something and I’ll pray about it and write on it. They come naturally for me and have never been forced. I've never had a problem with them because I've never had a deadline. That being said, on elf my New Year's resolutions was to post at least every other week. Oops, it's been two weeks and I'm out of ideas.
That's false. I have a full book of topics I want to talk about. But none of them seemed right. They all seemed awkward and forced. Maybe because they were.
But my blogs are never just written so I can post them and check that off my list. They're for the glory of God and honestly partially my therapy by getting my feelings out.
But I promised something to myself and if you can't trust yourself, you're out of luck, so I sat down at my computer in my dorm room while I waited for my boyfriend to unpack and I tried to write.
I was going to write a good blog. It will come, but not this week. But I was multi tasking and trying to print out my syllabi and watch YouTube and catch up on twitter and make a 4.0 GPA and.... well, you get the mind boggle that was occurring between my ears.
So I left and ate dinner. If you ever can't think because you're brain is going a mile a minute, you either need food or God. At Liberty University- you get both.
Wow. I should advertise my school for a living.
During dinner, I learned that there was no chance in Virginia that I was going to print out my syllabi or even get my blog post up because the WiFi was down. How do you make a bunch of quiet, Christian college kids rebel? You take away their WiFi.
No, there was no outrage or table flipping- but there was a quiet unrest prompted by the lack of opportunity for Netflix watching or syllabi printing. Okay, maybe just Netflix watching for the people who aren't nerds like me.
I got back to my dorm and wanted to watch YouTube. Or look up blog post ideas. Or watch my church service. Or workout. I knew I had a list longer than my arm for the things I needed to do before classes began, but they all seemed to be online. I realized that everything from my yoga to my devotions are online. Once something as pedestrian and insignificant as the WiFi stops working, it was like my whole world fell apart.
Guys, I have a Bible.
That’s a lie. I have three Bibles. Plus three devotionals.
I have a yoga mat and stairs in my building. Plus a full gym. No, two full gyms... Three? I don't go over there.
And I have three hundred books to entertain myself.
But I wanted my Bible app devotional (highly recommend them by the way). I wanted my workout video of skinny ladies talking about feeling the burn. I wanted Zoella.
Once I realized that the WiFi was broken, I was broken.
My plans, my health, my entertainment all went away.
Why is something so small as my WiFi not working groundbreaking, but I haven’t done a devotional in a week and I’m not phased by it?
Why does the lack of Zoella on my computer make me sad, but I have a long list of churches I want to watch online and it’s not getting any shorter?
Why have I dedicated this blog, and hopefully my life, to serving God- but I am more hung up about my cell phone data than I am about my prayer life?
Nearly every pastor or elder in the church claims my generation is not focusing on God like it should. We have the resources. We have the ability. We arguably can make the most difference in Christianity because of all the public platforms we cover. But we focus on the way the website looks instead of the message on it. We pray for subscribers instead of listeners. We need wireless connection instead of connection with Jesus.
Last night was amazing. I didn't print out my syllabi, but I did a workout and looked like a fool running up and down my stairs in my building. I didn't watch a boring vlog or shop on amazon, but I looked around my room and realized how blessed I was to be home and happy. I spent from 12-1 AM in the common area with my friends I hadn't seen all break. That wouldn't have happened if I was just sitting on my bum and writing out a forced post.
I'm going to set a mini goal for me the first two weeks of classes, this week and next, to put my computer and phone away and pull out my Bible. Or even get on my knees and pray. I don't need my Hillsong playlist or my apps. I don't even need my pastor from my hometown. My relationship with God is one on one and if I can't have that without a phone in my hand, then it's no better than all my past relationships with high school boys.
Last night I learned that I had begun to worship the internet more than I worship the Father of the Universe.
And with that, I'm signing off and reading my good old fashioned Bible.