Marriott Battle

The Joy of Confusion

Ignorance is actually bliss. 

Not the blind ignorance that sometimes can allow people to be okay with sitting in the dark and not changing anything, but the ignorance that comes from not knowing how everything’s going to work out and being okay with that. 

I was praying recently and I just said, "Lord, I don’t need to know what is going to happen tomorrow because I already feel a lot of pressure and stress knowing I have a quiz next Monday".

How true is that, though?

I am such a planner and I would love to plan my entire life. I'd like to know if the person I'm dating is ‘the one’, or if my major is the perfect fit, or even what the heck I want to do with my life after I get out of college.

But I don’t need to know the future to have peace- I just need to know that God’s in control. 

Also, imagine the stress that could come from knowing your future, but not knowing how to get there.

I'm reading a book by Ben Stuart and he explains how he was talking to a girl about finding her future husband. She said she wished that everyone just had a symbol on them and they would just have to find the person with whom their symbol matched.

He asked the question: Would that system would be better or worse than our current one?

It really stuck with me.

On the one hand, I would love to know if I'm on the right track. I feel like it would be so satisfying to go through all the things in my life and be able to check them off with finality and assurance that they're completed and correct.

But on the other hand, what if I couldn't find my person or thing with my symbol? What if everyone had their symbols all lined up and I stuck fumbling around looking for one?

Imagine the stress and isolation.

In Luke 12:26, Jesus says, ‘If then you’re not able to do even a little thing, why worry about the rest”. 

Dang. 

I think we can get really caught up in trying to get everything done and trying to find the big picture, but God will only give us as much as we can handle, and sometimes that’s not a lot. 

It’s not always the best thing for us to know exactly how things will end up.

Also imagine all the lessons you wouldn't learn if you knew everything.

You need to learn from your mistakes and continually grow when you're met with failure, and there would be no need for failure if we could tell immediately if the thing was right for us.

And it’s also so comforting to know that we benefit more from failing than from doing something right.

It's interesting how I've started to write these blogs. 

Usually, I'll be majorly procrastinating and I just start about five blog posts and come back to them when I feel like the subject comes up in my life again. 

I've had this post open in my tabs for about two weeks now and I haven't written anything in it. 

But I just had a beautiful panic attack in the library about what the heck I am supposed to do with my life and why I don't know and if I should be sitting here worrying about how I'm going to buy my first house and where I should work instead of watching Gilmore Girls and calming down. 

And then I thought of Ben Stuart and the girl. 

If I knew what was going to happen in my future from day 1, would I be a little less stressed? 

Heck yes. 

But if I knew, would my life look like this right now?

No. 

So why would we want the right thing to be evident?

Putting faith in God and trusting that everything will work out in the end is hard, but it's also biblical.

God has promised not only good to us, but also eternal victory.

So I don't need to know what happens in my future for now, I just need to know that whatever happens, it will be God's best for me.

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